Entry #17 • January 27th, 2026

Hi.

Did you think I broke up with you? Heh heh. Never, my Dear Reader.

I had a number of you reach out and ask if you’d missed an entry or somehow accidentally unsubscribed. Nope. Still here. Though…fair question. If you ever think you’ve been unsubscribed, you can resubscribe anytime. Just click one of the old emails and you’ll see a link at the bottom of the entry that says “Sign up here.” Or ask me and I’ll set you back up 🙂

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The Holiday Surge & the Aftermath

So. Here’s what’s been up in my world. Quick little run-through for you.

The last entry I sent was part two of my first birth story. After that, I still had about a week and a half of the holiday season left at the store. The stretch from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve is just a different level of busy. We do in that one month what we normally do in two to two-and-a-half months. It is BUSY for us.

It’s also the one time of year we staff the store with two to three people at once, because it’s actually needed. It’s a fun time around the shop. A different pace. I love getting to watch my staff work together, and we see everyone—our regulars, brand-new customers, and the folks who only pop in at the holidays.

And honestly, it has to be that busy, because January and February are slow. That surge of sales in December ends up floating us through the next two months. In other words: we need a good holiday season to make it through winter. I know a lot of small retailers live in that same rhythm.

We got through the holidays relatively unscathed. There was some illness floating around among staff and their families, but there were enough people trained to cover shifts.

What a radical change from years past.

There were seasons when it was just me and Sharon. Every year we’d psych ourselves up and try to be really, REALLY careful not to get sick. There was no backup. It was crazy, and it sat as background stress for both of us the entire time.

This year was so much better—knowing there were five of us trained to work the sales floor.

After the holidays comes that weird in-between week between Christmas and New Year’s. On December 28th, my family headed up to Wyoming to visit relatives and attend my cousin’s wedding. It was a nice little getaway, a short breather before life resumed—back to the store, my husband’s teaching job, and basketball season for four kids.

I was going to blow past this next part because it feels small and insignificant. But this is my journal, and I get to write it out. Nothing is right or wrong to include here.

When we were driving to Wyoming, I noticed a little anxiety creeping up inside me.

There’s always some when we make that trip in winter. The weather can be dicey on the roads, and the final stretch—about twenty minutes—has no cell service. We always hit it between six and seven p.m., when it’s dark and the roads are slick.

But this anxiety felt different.

The normal stuff was there, sure. But layered underneath was something dulled and quieter. Not loud…just present.

I pinpointed it pretty quickly once we were on the road.

You see, the last time we went on a family trip, my world turned upside down. It was as though my van drove straight through a wormhole. I will never forget that feeling.

So that memory had taken up residence in the back of my mind, whispering, Remember when? How about…maybe again?

I shook it off as best I could. Told myself that just because something happened once doesn’t mean it happens every time.

And with that, it quieted.

I could go back to focusing on the normal anxiety—the roads and the weather. Hahahaha.

After that trip, we got home and it was off to the races.

We rolled in Friday night, and by Monday my husband was back at work, basketball practices had resumed, games were starting, and I was at the store preparing for our big annual inventory-counting day paired with our holiday staff meeting. The store was closed January 1–8 so we could work through inventory and redesign the entire store layout.

Psst—if you haven’t been by since we reopened, come say hi. You’ll have to see the changes.

The January Lie

For the past five years or so, I have managed to lie to myself every single holiday season.

I tell myself the same story every year: “It’s crazy busy (because it is). But then January comes. And then I can breathe again. It’s all worth it. I love the busy holiday season. It’s so much fun.”

And then…January comes.

Every year I go to push open a proverbial door—hello, slow season!—and instead crash straight into it.

Wa-BAM!

You know the moment. We’ve all had it, either privately or publicly.

(Hi, Sudie, my long-time friend who reads these JMs and worked at Graff Dairy in high school—you know exactly what I’m talking about 😉)

Sudie was working the drive-through window and went to take an order…but forgot to open the window. Smashed her face right into it. Imagine the look on the customers’ faces 😆 And that, my Dear Reader, is a “Wa-BAM” moment.

Well…that is me every January. Smashing my face into the proverbial glass—shocked every time. And every year I think, Why do I do this? How?

My brain and gut both know the store will slow down—fewer sales, less foot traffic. But the work doesn’t disappear. I still have emails, phone calls (ugh, please don’t ever call me, hahahaha), massive product reorders after the holidays wipe us out, year-end bookkeeping to finish, and—at some point—I have to slow myself down enough to actually plan what I hope to accomplish in the year ahead, business-wise.

But the reason this lie gets me every time is because my life isn’t just the store.

That’s only one facet.

And while that facet may slow down, yes, I still have all those tasks. But then there are the others too:

– Managing my husband’s business

– Basketball for four kids on three teams

– Personal life: time for God, time for myself, time with my husband, time with my children, time with friends

I started managing my husband’s business a couple of years ago. It’s honestly really simple compared to the store—but it has two busy seasons: December/January and July/August.

January, though? January eats way more of my time than I ever remember to budget for when it comes to his business.

He teaches Spanish. That’s his job.

I do all the things in the background to make it hum along.

I set up his calendar, manage enrollments, and handle all communication with current and potential students. When a new semester is starting, it’s a little intense. Trying to get everything to fit like a puzzle with the rest of our life. Once classes are underway, things quiet down and just carry along.

Our family sport of choice is basketball. For the last four years or so it’s been extra busy as we’ve had four kids playing at once—spread across at least three teams. Coordinating practices and games across multiple teams is…a lot.

Practices start in November, which is already complicated because that’s my busiest season at the store. But when January hits, it’s not just three practice schedules anymore. Add multiple games each week too.

Four kids on three teams means six practices a week—two per team—and anywhere from one to four games weekly until March. Most are local, but some are in Montrose (an hour away.)

What I can’t do during this time—personally speaking—always shocks me.

In December, while I’m telling myself these little lies, I hype January up in my head. I picture long stretches of reflection. Processing the past year. Dreaming about the next one. Reading books, because surely this is when I’ll have the most time all year.

Sitting in my recliner with a home-brewed chai while snow falls outside.

HAHA.

None of that happens.

Every single time, I’m disappointed—not because January is full, but because I keep believing it won’t be.

Instead, in January and February, I ghost my friends (and feel terrible about it), I barely see my husband—mostly just at basketball games—and let’s just say… I haven’t been to Kiln on a Sunday afternoon in two weeks straight. Might be three by the time this goes out. Sundays are ALWAYS protected (except illness or holidays when Kiln is closed), so to miss a few in a row? It just never happens.

One of my best friends from high school comes to town about twice a year. Every visit includes multiple “Walk Talks.” It’s non-negotiable. She also comes over for dinner with the family and requests the same meal every time: tortilla soup. If the kids see me making it, they ask if Auntie Sarah is coming over. That’s how routine it is.

(Side note: Whatever you just pictured as tortilla soup is not the right kind 😅 That’s Americanized. Chicken is not part of traditional tortilla soup. You should know, I take my tortilla soup very seriously.)

But I digress.

We literally never skip this routine.

Until a couple weeks ago—right in the middle of January chaos.

Guess what we didn’t do?

We didn’t go for a single walk.

She didn’t come over for dinner.

Absolutely wild.

That’s how much is going on for me this time of year.

I may just have to tell her not to visit in January ever again. Hahahaha.

She did come to watch three basketball games one night, though, so we at least caught up a little there.

I imagine by now you can see why I haven’t been in your inbox recently.

It’s not you. It’s me 🥹

A Pause I Didn't Plan For

About a week and a half ago—at least from the time I’m writing this, not from when you’re reading it—I finally sat down and banged out an entry. It was going to be JM #17.

I’ve told you before: these entries usually take me anywhere from four to eight hours to complete.

First comes the stream-of-consciousness draft. Then I edit it segment by segment. After that, I break it into sections with headers so it’s easier to read.

Then I drop it into my email software, email myself a sample, and read through it again—this time as an actual email—for a second round of edits. Editing in chunks can mess with the overall rhythm, and this is where I usually catch that.

Then come all the little mechanics: subject line, preview text, internal notes, scheduled send time. All of it.

So yes—about a week and a half ago, I wrote an entry. I finished the first draft and the first round of edits and was feeling really good about it. I was even ahead of schedule. I still had a few days to polish the rest.

But then…my grandpa went in for emergency surgery he wasn’t expected to survive.

But he did.

And then he was given a zero-percent chance of recovering, and I realized my time to see him might be very limited.

So the entry got shoved to the back burner while I bought a plane ticket and boarded a flight—all in the same day.

I’ll write about that experience soon. Getting out to see my grandpa.

What an experience.

Whew.

I wrestled with whether I should just send the entry I’d previously written this week, but it didn’t feel right. I couldn’t just pop back into your inbox like nothing had happened without giving some context for the silence.

A lot has happened. And a lot is still happening.

I will use that other entry. I just don’t know yet what order everything will land in.

For today, you get this hodge-podge update of life.

I’ve missed writing.

The weekly rhythm is a lofty calling, but I really do enjoy it. The consistency has been a fun and rewarding challenge to keep up with. And if I miss a week, I know it’s okay—because early on, I decided Just Me wouldn’t be a performance metric.

Still—striving for that rhythm is good. It keeps my creative gears turning in a different way than the rest of the store and my life do.

Okay. I’m officially babbling now.

Thanks for letting me back into your inbox.

If you’re willing, it would help a lot if you’d click here to signal the email servers you’re still opening and reading these. And if you really want to take it up a notch, shoot back a quick reply—that helps with deliverability even more.

I’d love to see you in my inbox.

I’ll plan to write again next week…as long as I get a few hours to breathe 😉

– Just Me[gan]

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